


i always come back to you

by inkquell



Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 01:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6264772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkquell/pseuds/inkquell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jooheon is a supportive boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i always come back to you

Jooheon finds Gunhee alone in the trainee practice room.He hasn’t been down here in months, but he easily remembers every detail.It's hard to forget when he spent so much time here as a trainee, practicing until 4 AM till he was no longer sweating but bleeding.The hardwood is scuffed with shoe marks, the mirrors are dusty, and the lighting is dim and yellow.Everything is so different compared to the bright and clean practice rooms Jooheon is used to now. 

Gunhee is sitting crosslegged in the middle of the floor.A slow beat plays loud and staticky from his phone speaker.He bobs his head with every hi-hat, feeling the music through his closed eyes.Jooheon stands in the doorway, one hand in the pocket of his hoodie and the other holding a heavy bag of takeout.

“Am I interrupting something?” Jooheon asks, swaying a little on his feet.

Gunhee smiles when he sees Jooheon.And for a second, Jooheon feels like his whole body is buzzing. His stomach is doing somersaults and his face burns up like fire crackers are going off beneath his skin. It's been five years since they met, but Gunhee still makes Jooheon feel like a schoolboy with a crush.After everything that’s happened, that hasn't changed.

“Sort of,” Gunhee says.He pauses his music, eyeing the food. “What are you doing here so late?”

Normally, Jooheon stays later than the other members to write lyrics or finish the beats he’s been working on.But tonight he stays with Gunhee in mind, knowing he’ll be up late preparing.Tomorrow is his audition.The least Jooheon can do is buy him junk food and keep him company. 

“I’m here to feed you,” Jooheon says, holding up the bag of takeout like a trophy. “Have you eaten yet?”

Gunhee looks down at his stomach like he’s forgotten something. 

“No.”

Jooheon sits beside Gunhee, their knees touching. The floor is cold under his ass. He starts unpacking the styrofoam containers: jajangmyeon, pizza, chicken, things he knows Gunhee likes.

“Y’know you didn't have to do this,” Gunhee says, but he’s basically drooling as soon as the smell of fried food and carbs hits his nose.

Jooheon pokes him with the end of his chopsticks.

“Shut up,” he says and rolls a bottle of coke across the floor to him.“Eat something.”

Gunhee submits and grabs a container of noodles.A mushroom cloud of steam rises into his face when he opens the lid.Jooheon is supposed to be on a diet, but if he’s going to blow it off it might as well be with Gunhee.

“Were you guys practicing tonight?” Gunhee asks between bites.He already has food all over his face. “I swear I could hear Minhyuk laughing from all the way down the hall.”

“We’re working on our next album,” Jooheon says, nodding. “Our next comeback is soon.” 

As open as they are with each other, Jooheon is always cautious when discussing the group with Gunhee.Whether it bothers Gunhee or not, he isn't sure.They try not to talk about No. Mercy, or what’s happened since it ended.The wounds are finally healing, and Jooheon doesn't want to reopen any sutures.No good can come from them arguing about things they can’t control, so they leave it alone.It’s better this way, Jooheon figures.It stings a little less. 

So, Jooheon only talks about it when Gunhee mentions it first.

“How’s it going?” Gunhee asks, shovelling a spoonful of rice into his mouth.His cheeks balloon up like a hamster as he chews. "The album, I mean."

“Good, I guess,” Jooheon says.He slides Gunhee a napkin. “I hope they use more of my compositions this time though.”

“Fat chance?” Gunhee asks.

“Probably.”

Too starved to speak anymore, they stuff themselves in silence.It reminds Jooheon of when they were trainees. Twelve boys with big ambitions and just enough allowance to buy snacks after practice.But where the practice room has stayed exactly same, Jooheon and Gunhee have changed.The people around them have changed too.Seven of them are now idols.Yoonho, Yoosu, and Minkyun have gone to different companies.Jooheon barely sees the others.Sometimes Jooheon is afraid Gunhee will disappear too.But he never does.

Feeling full and bloated, Jooheon gets up to throw the now empty food containers in the trash.Gunhee is still sucking barbecue sauce from the chicken off his fingers.Jooheon pretends it’s not distracting. 

“D-Day tomorrow,” Jooheon finally says.He’s been waiting for the right moment to say something. “What time do preliminaries start?”

“7 AM sharp.” 

Jooheon can hear the nervousness in Gunhee’s voice.Jooheon has been through this.He remembers the pressure, the queasy feeling in his stomach when he walked into the stadium and saw it was bigger than he expected, but most of all he remembers Gunhee’s hand in his the night before, his lips on his skin soft and sure, calming him down.He’s been through this, and he’s almost reluctant to see Gunhee go through it too. 

“Are you ready?” Jooheon asks. 

“Fuck,” Gunhee says, trying to laugh some of the tension away like he usually does. “I really hope so.”

Gunhee wipes his hands on his pants, then turns to look at something on his phone.He scrolls through a saved document.It looks like lyrics. 

“It’s not 100% done yet, but,” Gunhee says and tosses the phone into Jooheon’s lap.

“Can’t you just rap it to me in person?” Jooheon whines.

Gunhee shakes his head. “You have to wait until the broadcast.” 

“You’re a tease,” Jooheon says, but picks up the phone anyways.

Jooheon takes his time reading it over, every rhyme, every play on words.He imagines Gunhee in front of the judges, in front of the crowd, in front of a few hundred thousand viewers on national TV.At first, Jooheon’s heart beats faster with second-hand anxiety, but soon a sense of pride blossoms in his chest.Because that’s his best friend, and his best friend is going to fucking kill it out there. 

“Shit, Gun-ah,” Jooheon says when he’s finished. “You’ve got this, man.”

“Yeah?” Gunhee still sounds unsure.

“Yeah,” Jooheon says.He wraps an arm around Gunhee, hugging him against his side. 

Gunhee gives him a small smile and nudges him playfully in the shoulder.He seems a little relieved.

“Any words of advice?” he asks, half-joking half-serious. 

Jooheon thinks for a minute, pursing his lips, then says, “Ask your cousin, I didn’t get past the 3rd round.”

Gunhee can’t contain his laughter for long.Jooheon feigns annoyance before joining in, dimples appearing on his cheeks.His giggle is high-pitched and light and echoes in the empty practice room.

Out of breath, Gunhee rolls over on the floor clutching his stomach.Jooheon lies next to him.They’re both staring at the ceiling lights.One of the lightbulbs is burnt out.Jooheon stares until colourful squiggles appear in front of his eyes when he blinks. 

“Are you nervous?” he asks after a minute passes. 

“Yes,” Gunhee says, “and no.” 

Jooheon turns over onto his side, and Gunhee does the same so they’re almost nose to nose.Gunhee’s fingers feel hot against Jooheon’s skin when they brush his hair out of his eyes, trace along his jaw, drag down his neck.They settle on his chest to curl around the fabric of his sweatshirt. 

“This past year,” Gunhee starts, his voice sounding tight, “I felt like I was constantly waiting for something.I was waiting for the right lyrics to hit me, waiting for my mom to get off work, waiting for the next time I could see you.It was so hard to watch you out there sometimes.I felt left behind.” 

Jooheon nods, feeling a little guilty.

“But now I really think it’s my chance to do something, to show myself,” he says. “I think I might actually be able to catch up to you now.”

Jooheon groans, memories of No. Mercy flooding back to him. “Don’t undermine yourself like that, Gunhee.You’re just as good as any rapper out there.”

Jooheon is serious, but Gunhee is smirking. 

“You’re only saying that because you feel threatened.”

“Well, maybe I do,” Jooheon says. 

“I’ll give you a run for your money.”

“Show me the money?”

“Show me the money!” Gunhee yells up to the ceiling in his best impersonation of Swings. 

“Gun-ah, they won’t know what hit ‘em.”

Gunhee’s hands are slipping underneath Jooheon’s hoodie now.He pets his sides, runs his palms across the softness of his stomach, up along his ribcage and back down.Beneath his steady hands, Jooheon feels exhaustion melt away from his muscles.Gunhee shifts closer.Anticipation runs through his blood as he captures Jooheon’s lips between his.

There’s a split second of hesitation before Jooheon starts kissing him back.Company staff are still roaming the building and Jooheon is pretty sure he left the door wide open, but Gunhee is so hard to resist.His mouth is soft and slack and tastes of something sweet.Gunhee’s teeth tug at Jooheon’s bottom lip.

Somehow, Jooheon ends up in Gunhee’s lap, straddling his waist with his thighs.Their noses bump together, Gunhee kissing Jooheon hard enough to bruise.His mouth leaves his lips to suck at his throat.

Jooheon imagines that same mouth rapping bars against a hard-hitting beat.He thinks about those same hands against his waist wrapped tight around a mic.He can picture it so clearly: Gunhee on stage with so much to prove and the audience screaming his name.And God, Jooheon is so turned on. 

“Fuck,” Jooheon moans when Gunhee’s lips brush against an especially sensitive spot on his neck. 

Gunhee moves one hand under Jooheon’s ass, pressing their bodies flush together.Jooheon can feel Gunhee half-hard against his thigh and—

“Shit, wait.” Jooheon pulls away.He’s practically panting.“We shouldn’t do this here.”

They’ve fucked in some embarrassing places. It’s unavoidable if you’re an idol and want any kind of sex life, but this would be a new low.Jooheon doesn’t want new Starship trainees showing up at the company, only to think about how he’s fucked his boyfriend in their practice room.

“And you’ve got an audition in six hours.” Jooheon is still trying to catch his breath.

“Fuck, right, sorry,” Gunhee says.He lays his forehead against Jooheon’s, slightly embarrassed. 

Jooheon’s hair is a tangled mess at the back of his head from Gunhee’s fingers, and his lips are kiss swollen and bright pink.Gunhee runs his knuckle over a bruise blossoming on his neck. There are little red marks on Jooheon’s collarbone too.Jooheon can already imagine the looks he’ll get from the makeup noonas. 

He laughs against Gunhee’s shoulder. And even though he doesn't know what's so funny, Gunhee laughs too. 

—

They leave the company once Gunhee has taken care of himself in the bathroom (Jooheon’s never gonna let him live this down) and the red blush has finally disappeared from Jooheon’s cheeks.They would stay in that musty practice room all night if it meant being together longer, but Gunhee needs to sleep and if Jooheon is gone too long the managers will come looking for him.So instead, Jooheon walks Gunhee home.

It’s March, but nighttime in Seoul is just as cold as it was in December.Jooheon walks as close to Gunhee as possible without tripping over his feet, trying to share the heat between them somehow.Once they get far enough away from the brightly lit streets, Gunhee sneaks a hand into Jooheon’s coat pocket and interlocks their fingers together.

The apartment where Gunhee’s been staying with friends is only a few blocks away.It doesn’t take them long to get there. 

“Good luck tomorrow,” Jooheon says when they reach the doorstep.He still hasn’t let go of Gunhee’s hand. “I wish I could go with you.”

“Yeah, me too.” 

The air between them stills.Jooheon takes a deep breath in.He can see his breath, white and frosty, when he exhales. 

“I love you, y’know?”

Sometimes it’s hard for Jooheon to say.It's hard when they haven’t seen each other in weeks.It's hard when the distance gets to the both of them and Jooheon is afraid things might really be over.But tonight Gunhee’s eyes are so warm and bright. Despite his nervousness, there’s so much passion pushing him forward and excitement behind his smile. And this time, it’s so easy. 

“I love you,” Jooheon repeats. “Like a lot.”

“I love you too, Jooheon.”

Normally confessions make Jooheon’s toes curl, but right now there’s a sense of urgency.For Jooheon, a group comeback looms right around the corner and what little free time he has now will be cut in half.As for Gunhee, depending on how well he does, he could disappear for a while to film for the show.They both know from personal experience how these competitions work.Jooheon has no idea when he'll see him again. 

Knowing that, Jooheon pulls Gunhee into his arms one more time for good measure. His nose rests in the curve of Gunhee’s neck.

“Good luck,” he says for the second time.

“Thanks.”

“Try to focus on your lyrics only and not the judges.”

“Yeah, I know.“ 

“Don’t fuck your delivery up.”

“Okay.”Gunhee smiles, running his thumb across Jooheon’s cheek, along his jaw to his chin.He parts his lips for him, kisses him again.

“Say hi to Mad Clown hyung for me,” Jooheon mumbles against his lips. 

“Fuck off,” Gunhee says, but he continues to kiss the shit-eating grin off Jooheon’s face anyways. 

Jooheon’s stomach feels empty, despite all the food they ate, as he forces himself to pull away.He doesn’t want to go, but it’s almost two in the morning.Kihyun is already sending him threatening text messages, demanding he get his ass home before they get in trouble.

“I gotta go,” Jooheon says, defeated. 

He gently shoves Gunhee in the direction of the door.Gunhee lets go of his hand. 

“Thanks for buying dinner,” he says. “It was good.”

Jooheon shrugs. “No problem. You can pay me back with your prize money when you become Korea’s next rap star.”

“Shut up.” 

Jooheon makes his way down the street.It’s the middle of the night, but that doesn’t stop him from yelling, “Sharp to the G!” and putting up Gunhee’s signature hand sign as he walks away.Even from a distance, Jooheon can see his best friend hiding his eyes in embarrassment. 

The sinking feeling in Jooheon’s stomach gets worse when Gunhee finally disappears from his view.But they’ll see each other again, sooner or later.Television producers, company CEOs, friends, family, anyone and everyone has tried to pull them apart, but they always come back to each other. Jooheon isn't worried.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone is rooting for Gunhee on SMTM5! This is my first Monsta X fanfic, but hopefully there are more to come. Comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
